I grew up on the island of Polillo, Quezon, and attended Polillo Adventist Elementary School, where I was baptized. From a young age, I was keenly aware of the businesses my parents had built. We had a grocery store, a gas station, and we’re dealers of Petron LPG. We also ran a movie rental business. I was always fascinated when a 10-wheeler truck of LPG or Pepsi Cola products would stop by our house for delivery. I remember asking Dad, “Daddy, are we rich?” His response was, “No, son, but we have just what we need to live a comfortable life.”
My exposure to the “ways of the world” started early – explicit films, smoking, and drinking. By high school, I had become a habitual drinker, smoker, and drug user. After being caught selling marijuana and feeling immense shame, I attempted suicide.
At 16, I ran for Sangguniang Kabataan (SK) Chairman of our town and won, hence I got to receive a 40K monthly salary. After high school, I enrolled in a vocational electrical course at a state university but dropped out during preliminaries, claiming I wanted to focus on my SK duties. In reality, I was more focused on drugs. Bigheaded that I could already take care of myself, I moved out of my parents’ house to live at my grandfather’s, where I indulged in drinking, drugs, and womanizing. Despite my parents’ encouragement to return to school, I refused, sinking deeper into addiction.
When my SK term ended in 2013, adjusting to a 1500 weekly allowance was challenging. I sold my belongings to buy drugs and even resorted to selling myself to gay men for money. Feeling filthy and ashamed, I attempted suicide again.
During Duterte’s administration and his war on drugs, I became a person of interest to law enforcers. One night, we were caught by the police but released due to my parents’ connections.
My parents brought me to Manila, and there I enrolled in TESDA to become a waiter, staying sober and focused during this time. It was around this period that my mom passed away. I completed my training and got a job at a semi-fine dining restaurant in Makati in 2018. Now receiving a good pay, I returned to my old habits.
In January 2020, my girlfriend of five years discovered my drug transactions and broke up with me. To cope, I indulged in shopping. Then COVID-19 pandemic hit in March, closing the restaurant where I worked. With only a little money left, I bought drugs just before the lockdown.
It was during this time, feeling exhausted, helpless, filthy, and alone in my room, that I turned to Jesus. I prayed, “Lord, I am tired and without peace. Only You can give me peace. I surrender my life to You.”
My grandmother and aunt encouraged me to go back to school and finish a bachelor’s degree. In June 2020, I enrolled at Manila Adventist College, starting with an online Bible subject taught by Pastor Nestor Rilloma. We studied “Steps to Christ” by Ellen White. This book was something, it had such a big impact on me.
I wanted to stay at the college dorm for a change of environment but was initially denied due to COVID-19 cases. Instead, I returned to Polillo, Quezon, continuing my online classes. I reconnected with my church where I used to be active back when I was in grade school, participating in Sabbath School and leading family time.
I studied “Steps to Christ” on a more personal level. This was instrumental in deepening my relationship with Jesus. I will never forget Chapter 4 – “CONFESSION.” In my room, I prostrated before God, sobbing and there I confessed my sins. I said, “Lord, please forgive me for I have sinned against You by breaking Your commandments, desecrating my body which is Your temple. I had not been a good child to my parents. I was selfish. I took advantage of others, hurt my friends, used drugs, and committed sexual immorality. Please forgive me. Please cleanse me.”
I know God forgave me. I felt His forgiveness and a sense of peace. The burden of sin was lifted off my shoulders. Inspired, I shared my favorite Bible verse on Facebook Live. “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure” 1 Corinthians 10:13.
I began leading online devotionals and Bible studies. I joined church activities, visiting the sick and those like me who had strayed from the faith. I found joy in serving God. I realized the happiness of a Christian life far surpassed my former drug-induced highs. I only wish I had become friends with Jesus earlier.
In 2021, I became a deacon and then head deacon in 2022, though I had to leave the position for face-to-face classes at Manila Adventist College. Now a 3rd-year BS Physical Therapy student, I continue serving God as an ordained student elder. I was blessed to participate in and share the Word of God at the VOY held in Dilasag, Aurora where 5 individuals accepted Jesus. It was such a beautiful experience to get to know Jesus on a deeper level as we served and worked with Him. I was delighted to make new friends, not to invite them to do drugs but to help them become friends with Jesus.
My message to those who will hear my story is this:
- First, no matter how dark our path, no matter how heavy our burden, no matter how hopeless we feel, how restless, or how addicted we are in life, no matter how broken we become from our experiences, the truth is that Jesus is always ready to rescue us. He is ever willing to give us a fresh start in Him.
- Second, to the youth: value the advice of your parents. Appreciate and make the most of the opportunities given to you. These are all for your own good.
- Third, to students: cherish your education, as it is for your future. Use it to bless others and to serve God.
Finally, allow me to leave these Bible passages that have given me the confidence that God will never turn me away:
John 6:37 – “However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them.”
Luke 15:7 – “In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away!”
